Janice Chabros
Who am I now
Throughout treatment for my leukemia, I was encouraged by the belief that, once it was all over, I would be able to go back to my life as if nothing had happened. Sure, I was warned to expect a 1–2-year recovery, but never did it ever dawn on me that my life would, under no circumstances, return to the normal I once knew.
In 2017, I was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia and had a subsequent stem cell transplant, all at 36 years old, just as I was nearing the apex of my life. I had worked diligently to build a life that would afford me all the things I wanted: a family, a home, career, travel opportunities, and endless health and happiness. Little did I know that my life would take a sharp left and veer completely off-track.
After 2 years of trying diligently to recover, I felt defeated. I was still on medications that made me feel horrible, and coping with the Graft Versus Host Disease that had been ravaging my body. Finally, 3 years after my diagnosis, when it was obvious that I would be unable to return to work anytime soon, my employer was forced to terminate my employment. Now what? I had spent my whole working life defining myself by my job, and now it was gone. I felt utterly lost. Who was I now if I wasn’t my job? The last thing I wanted was to forever be known as the “patient” or the ailments that now occupied my days.
Fast forward to 2025 and although still not working, I have been able to start volunteering in various capacities. My volunteer work has helped bolster my confidence and push myself in ways that were impossible just a few years previous. I’ve worked hard with physiotherapists and psychiatrists to rebuild my broken mind and body, amid subsequent diagnoses of avascular necrosis, narrowing and bulging discs in my neck, orthostatic hypotension, depression, and more. I still struggle with pain, brain fog, and fatigue, but even those obstacles I have managed to learn to work around.
The biggest challenge, however, has been re-imagining and re-defining who I am post cancer. The me that I was before is gone. My body has changed, my mind has changed, and my perspective on life has invariably changed as well! I have evolved into a new version of myself, a version I had never envisioned. All the superpowers I once took for granted are gone. My memory is no longer a steel trap, my ability to multitask has flown the coop, and my endless physical endurance has vacated the premises. I am no longer the Energizer Bunny type person I once identified as. In its place, I now resemble something closer to a sloth.
Through effort that I never thought possible just a few years ago, and thanks to the incredible supports around me, including family, friends, and the formidable team at the LLSC with whom I have worked with as a volunteer, I have successfully redefined who I am post cancer and what my purpose in this life can be. I have discovered new superpowers that I never knew I had! I have tremendous empathy and patience for people facing difficult challenges. I am a powerful communicator. I have within me the words needed to soothe a patient in pain, and help calm their fears, and most importantly aid them in unleashing the appropriate words within themselves to communicate effectively with their loved ones and medical teams. I have the knowledge, accumulated through past and present experience, from which I can draw invaluable information when guiding patients and caregivers through the hurdles often faced in Cancerland. I have learned that my voice can have an indelible impact and with it I have the power to help change perceptions and lives through advocacy and community engagement.
I entered Cancerland as a young professional, eager to climb the corporate ladder, driven to succeed, and then consequently violently thrown from that ladder by cancer. My time in Cancerland has changed me, I now believe, for the better. My path in life has ventured into unknown territory, and although it has not been easy, I finally feel that I have landed on the path I was always destined to travel; my heart leading the way and my passion for helping others and improving the lives of those around me as my map for life.